Wrung Out.

Give me one of them there fancy bitch names,

classical yet unique, like my parents

were academics who value the humanities.

Call me by it, day after day, each morning

and evening, like it’s my own—been mine

the whole time. Shit me into a rose garden—

packed between petals in perfect concentric

circles, like French royal landscapes, boxy

shrubs border. Press me in like a weed between

pages of the Bible. Revive me like a dead man—

mouth-to-mouth, and swallow my breath, let it

slide down the throat to your ass, then fart me

into the wind. Scatter me like seeds, bird droppings,

Johnny Appleseed, planted from coast to coast,

touching each ocean with both of my pinkies,

just ’cause you once knew me, corroded and

sun-bleached as I was that day.

Scorpio Full Moon

Cut my hair too short

for the Scorpio full moon,

which an app said

would hit me hard—but

so far, it’s just split ends,

dead ends, bleached ends

in the trash, where

they probably belong.

And it’s okay—

more than okay.

Nothing cracked open,

no tidal pull,

no reckoning I had to survive.

I don’t go outside anyway.

And old wives’ tales say

to cut during the full moon

for it to grow faster.

Maybe that’s enough—

just this:

nothing worse happening.

Affirmations for Modern Life

• I am not my PFP.
• A selfie begs the question: why would I document being alone?
• Charles Manson was also an influencer with followers.
• Write in a private journal before posting.
• My story could never fit in an Instagram story.
• FYP—It’s For You Page, not For Your Peace.
• Social media is free access for corporations to my time and energy.
• Living matters more than documenting evidence of life.
• Everything online can be fake, edited, or a lie—and made to look real.
• If I’m not able to call them on the phone, I don’t know them.
• Whatever someone posts is a highlight reel—10% or less. Often much less.
• Jim Jones was also an influencer with followers.
• No one brainwashed feels brainwashed.
• Propaganda works best when it sounds like a peer.
• We “feed” animals and inmates before slaughter.
• I am not my algorithm.
• I do not let corporate math tell me who I am.

Don't fall in love with your pain.

The crazy thing about my life is that each choice that got me here made total, perfect, logical sense at the time.

world of consequences

my husband when Jimi Hendrix comes on the radio

"In Vietnam, a guy had Jimi Hendrix on a reel-to-reel, and he played it all the fucking time—“All Along the Watchtower,” “Foxy Lady”—because the burn unit was right there and… the screaming. The guys screaming all the time. He was trying to cover up the sounds. And the smell—the smell from the shit they put on those guys. All the time. But this is a good song. Better than some. He played in Muncie at the fairgrounds before he got famous, before I went to Vietnam."

"Did you see him in Muncie?"
"Yeah."