Romancing Resentment

Resentment, You know,
I have never loved anyone,
not my family, my friends,
my husband,
that little girl who lives
three houses down
with chipmunk cheeks,
or even myself,
as long as I have loved You.

Three

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him."

It's on those frigid winter days,
when witch finger branches reach out
dazzled in icy diamonds, clawing out,
toward my face. grasp my coat closer
long forgetting that comforting shade
once sheltered me in spring last year.

With millions of footprints etched
compressed, solid and deep, in the snow,
from such heavy feet, heavy hearts,
of those who walked here before,
gape at me like their owners' smiles
meth rotten teeth, jagged in joy
old-seen-too-much-death, no worries
silent smirks, 'cause laughin' at pain 'twerks,
filling my lungs with nicotine breaths of life,
my lovely widening grin, my snowflakes,
as cold and terminally unique as me.

And despite my never ending desire,
to step on the virgin snow beside them
I continue, my-shoe-in-their-shoe-hole,
because assuredly, if I could fail,
this snow would catch my fall.