family ties

i sink into quilted generational patterns,
hemmed and sewn black holes,
patched together piecemeal inheritance.
you shells of humans, empty casings, breeding
without home, without foundation, without
reason, blindly follow the path laid out
-you made me.

i am driving through winterscapes
imagining my escape, vast white stretches
of scattered farms with possible hearths and
inside families, cozy and safe, and yet
distant, i am the dank boglike soil
rich under-foot, under snow.

trees nourished by its decay,
it's peat, it's me, wet and dark beneath,
keep me buried and i will feed the trees
you will rest under branches drenched in
my sweat and hot tears and rot.

shovel me up and the steam freezes
midair, i am alone, i am curled in the pattern
i spiraling the same filigree, DNA
structures and ladders.
and climbing is hard.
i just spin and spin and reweave the same section
same as my family, you, did before.