college town boy (and the tale of low self-esteem)

gross to still be affected

    by american spirits - hand rolled

favorite band

    you never heard

beers ordered

    you can't pronounce.

 

every trait

space

pushing you away.  

even if he has never been out of this town

     he got his superior space.

 

god, you couldn't even know. it's too hard to explain.

a band? too hard to explain a band? a beer? 

too hard to explain a beer? either he's lyin',

too stupid to form words

   or doesn't want to let you in into the space.

 

superior space

only for him and his....

dirty sheets
cigarette ash on jeans

he smells bad but

he likes girls with visible collarbones.

he'll fuck you,

even if you are not his type.

you'll fuck him,

even if he only makes you cry.

 bartender shoulder tap

"can't sleep here, buddy"

 

crying on the phone in the streets

best friend confused,

"who the fuck even is this guy?"

townie boy college town

alcoholic but so are we

works in a factory

looks like moby

eating tuna straight from the can

 dirty glasses

he's never happy. 

          scared he doesn't like you. 

 but do you even like him?

 or is it just the space between
how low you feel

    and how high, high, high, he acts?

"he's just not that into you."

don't quote pop culture.

it's too well know. too mainstream.

(maybe popular things are popular

because people like them)

it's corporate machine.

but you like popular things. you are not a cog.

you may like it, 

    but it's not TECHNICALLY good.

makes no sense, nonsensical

did all boys get trained in the neg arts?

even the highschool drop-out, strip club customer

don't buy dances, barely tips, 

unless it's haughty

sentences convoluted in drugs & booze.

just move to a new town, new college town,

new boy, 

with a party 'j' self-done tattoo on hand 

pbr and candy corn to start.

 rinse & repeat.

lying on the floor,
    he doesn't love you any more
           than the townie boy before.