the solace of my soul

the things i think but would never tell you like

how since i was a toddler i have understood the

adult world but decided i wanted no part, never 

be scared, never feel fear, how today i walked

half a mile to the mexican market in my suede

boots and mini skirt when my mother would

have locked the car doors as we went by, but 

i ate my popsicle unlady-like dripping down

onto my boots from alabama heat and drink

jamaican-style ginger beer and in college i met

men in hotels i did not know. i did not know the

men  or the hotels but i was there. i was born

angry and i brawl in my brain and brawl out

loud and i took every drug i was offered till i was

24. each time i liked it even more. once i pissed

my pants laughing with crack dealers in a basement

the toilet was filled up and the water not working
yet when she was in college my mom was at
a party and someone had pot, she left
immediately to take a shower and wash her clothes

but that is my peace how i can do everything

absolutely everything different than mama would

yet resoundingly still be mostly made of her.

[and i'd do it all again exactly the same too]