happy girl

This year was the first year

I felt I could become a happy girl

again. How do feelings get hurt

if feelings have no nerves?

The cause of sunburns-

is it the sun that shines or

        uncovered skin?

Where did the surprise 

     of it all live beneath?

My autopsy, will examiner remark

    "Oh my God! Look at all the scars on her feelings organ

    they hurt her feelings time and time again!"

Of course the people around me,

        known for years,

    wouldn't act different

        would not suddenly be different
    wouldn't strangely talk different

    than how they always had.

What did I expect? I, who

    always boast seeing patterns

        all the time.

            But perhaps so.

This year was the first time

I felt I could become a happy girl

again. Why not them too?