1999

y2k time

a new schrodinger's cat

dead or alive

hanging by the clock.

to give you a pedicure

On my knees before you

soak your feet in warm soap water

scrub off the miles and miles you walked

crown each toe with a tender kiss

my piggie soldiers in the trenches

and you will be anew, soft, and fresh

as a baby in my care.

shower thoughts

Funny, how I know you masturbated 

lying on your belly, only way to get

the pressure just right. And know

your face and eyes on your first

plane ride, you told me what each 

sound was - 'that's the landing gear.'

Even now, I can feel your hair,

thin and long and painfully straight,

and how you brushed it, right hand,

ripping through it fast, and know

how you want held when you cry.

Yet, I will never know your kiss,

or how your tattoos taste, or feel

(each one I have memorized)

many made with me beside, chatting.

Never wanted to know how much I love you,

but I am glad to know I can love.

dawn.

She sold nudes two weeks ago

how can she now be dead?

That temporary restraining order

doesn't restrain the sadness

only relief it wasn't by your hands.

Such is the life, and death, 

of a feather-wisp digital girl.

Gifting you pieces torn off her 

till there's no more left, vapor.

28, dead, in bed, Happy New Year.

'Stay safe' is hallow in wake,

in mourning light of the news.

Don't just 'Stay safe' but get mad, 

get angry and rake the coals,

and burn down the world in rage.

'Cause no one else will.

on "adulting"

Sometimes you get itchy

from the snug fit of a state-

like 'United States' not 

'State of the Union' state.

A dead thick husk shell 

castration till liberation, split.

So you move and it's grand-

or so that's what you say.

Reneg? On a move?

L-O-L, gag-me-with-a-spoon,

3 decades pining only

to uno reverse last minute.

Take the lil' scamp who 

packed one meal to run away,

returns soon, tail between legs,

whimper, whimper, 'hey.'

You a Hounddog cryin' for 

her old school, and old friends, 

and old toys. 'Adulting' is 'kidding'

just a slightly different scope.

It's not that you cannot,

but you'd just rather not.

You aren't 'in the doghouse'

just a puppy comin' home.

sugar cream tea

Crushin' so hard,

come home to you

meet your sisters

conduct symphonies

mixing microbes.

I can be part 

of your ecology

a mushroom

a compost heap.

Can I sleep in the corner

with all the cat hair 

with all the dust

mouse-eye view?

Be a dust bunny

corner-bound

watching you

with doted eyes.

Watch love brew,

Can I be a wasted,

discarded tea bag

saucer happy 

by your spoon?

timeout time.

I want to go home, stamp my feet, pout

and grind jellybeans into shag carpet.

Cross my arms, chin jutting, stomp.

Take me home. Take me home now.