life continues even when dead

Leaves don't fall, but the tree shrugs them off

as one shugs off a comment, a joke too true

that burns like a salty sweat drop in the eye.

Sun never sets, it only moves homes daily

as childhood friends don't disappear but

go on living lives instead, just reemerging

From many years mist, a grocery store

so muted and different yet still the same,

it's not a secret yet no one really knows

the way things work when we finally go.

never good enough i guess

Wish I knew you in highschool,

Wish I knew how to love then,

Wish 650 miles and 15 years

would disolve like Kool-aid,

bad childhoods, and sleepless nights.

But maybe I needed to fail

a hundred seasons and thousands

of days, before I could meet you.

can i join you

I don't dream of silent times

or quiet life, instead I open

eye wide enough to jump in.

Back into nightmare dark and

ripe, the things that keep me

sane. We seek what we know

and I know you. Your fears,

Your dreams, and all the things

You thought would fade away.

How you cannot scream enough

because your lungs are still full

of all the words no one heard.

How your body knows hunger

Like a worn out baby blanket.

How on a locked porch you held

on to your sister and yourself,

and slept on the dog's bed, yet

You never wept. You didn't stutter

at a challenge, you only gained

more fire. Crafting a new path.

hold me

I look at him with

disgust, dismay,

Because I'm the one

dumb enough to stay.

teach me preach

He is empty bottles

Stacked up a mountian

Sided with the butchered

Cow that ran allied with

it's downtrod eyes,

hooves which clack

On the ground so dry

It's hard as his arteries.

He instructs me like this:

"Any pistol in the house

you pull the trigger but don't

you ever empty it. You shoot.

Don't hesitate. Then run up

and put two in their head."

This is how he loves,

How he protects and 

shows up. Gosh-

I don't know if I can.

word

What is this strange set

and character I was cast

As a witch cast a spell or

casts out a fishing line 

and reels in an outcast. 

It's movie reels, just acting

out my role and places

set. It's not real. Set

the table, set the stage,

It's just a stage, just a

phase, phase of the moon

circle back or back out, 

it's inside out, outlast at last.

Please make it last, make out 

a line, make a straight line

Still last in line from onset.

buyers remorse

i want to be waxing poetic in love

minutes so joyful i pray for more 

eyes so wide and slept not met

and all the other things i said 

i didn't want cause i didn't want 

to want or worse to have a need.