how the abuse colors outside the lines of time

 the difference between

      arm over or

    arm under blanket

  too cool then too hot

like being awake

        in bed

mom slamming pots

mom slamming pans

-that's just how it sounds

        to me

            right now
from the other room

without walls

    i'd see it is you 

        you making coffee

        you whistling out the window

        at our bird and bunny friends

        at our yellow zucchini blossoms
spring has sprung in sideways snow.

my mother is dead;

    i am safe in a king bed.

[we bought.]

[you said i could sleep in.] 

nothing has changed

    please tell my Clydesdale heart
which will give out
    or burst out 
        and kill me
that's the difference between

   my weak little child past or

       my big strong adult present

    yet it still sounds the same

from the other room.