in this sweet baby tea economy?

I drink sweet tea with real sugar

not 'unsweet with two sweet n' low'

so when my mother said about you

"There are benefits to an older lover."

I knew she meant sexually

but that wasn't my cost-analysis.

I saw her, at 56, in her mobile home

asking her mommy to pay lot rent
cause she owned the trailer but not the land

and I, at 29,  had no other goal

than to not become that.

I was drowning in a life

built in spilt-milk spilt-milk

cup by cup I poured
crying with no way out.

Saw how you treated your cats better than

anyone's treated me in my whole life

and offered to give me more

than my mother or her mother,

or anyone else ever did.

A honey trap
I was caught up in sticky

and sometimes I just see sunk cost

but then my friend texts me
she is maybe moving 

back in with her mother
and she's crying

and she's screaming
she feels so wild  she's suicidal.
But you made sun tea with real sugar.
Everything is real sugar, fresh cut lemons,
Costco, steak dinner, 
watching campy 60's game shows,

and my life with you.
Benefits indeed.

I grow fat while my peers grown lean.