sleepwalker

Sometimes, after finally falling asleep when I couldn’t before, I dream that I can’t sleep. While I’m resting, my Fitbit tells me so; while I’m in REM, my body is still, yet my mind plays out what feels like a memory of complete restlessness.

I have everything I wanted and needed—sleep—yet my brain tricks me into feeling as though I got none of it all night.

And that’s kind of where I’m at with my life right now. Everything is good, fine. Objectively, I have everything I want and need. Yet somehow, I keep envisioning holes and empty spaces—all those places of lack that don’t even exist.

I’m getting all the rest my body needs, but my mind is wandering again.