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We took the dirty truck to the car wash,
and the attendant winked and said,
“This one’s on the house, hoss.”
He was surprised when you handed him
and his coworker $10 and two cigars—
pulled from the glove box of your truck.
I was uncomfortable with the expansive joy.
The three of you grinning wide.
Big Smiles. Big Teeth.
Them lifting the cigars to the sky like Olympic torches—
perhaps their first cigars ever.
Every day they wash cars;
Every day you smoke a cigar.
We can exchange freely what comes to us so easily.
Strangers emerging winners. All of us.
Is this what economy was like before
standard operating procedures
and corporate policies
took humanity out of man?
I don't know, but I'd like to think so.
What if science
is the slowest way
to uncover
what we already know
in our bones?
Like angels are beings
who sometimes drive old, worn-out minivans
instead of traditional wings—
which wouldn't match their shoes anyway.
And everything we eat
has an ancestor to venerate,
and children are the future
but we don't invest in them.
And money does us no good
when our heartbeat stops.
Married when you met her,
she's been married her whole life.
A wife in constant motion—
yet going nowhere.
Then she’s gone,
faster than she arrived.
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Look here, Little Girl,
I know your mama dead and all
so I will have to give you a 'mama talk' myself.
You are quick to forget. Did you forget eating a can of green beans for dinner? Biking home in the cold, dark at 11 p.m. through downtown after work? Making your little $9.00 an hour? Crying in the work-gym shower? Walking out of Aldi's empty handed? Filling up on the free bread and water while a man, across the table, drained your bank account? How could you forget the feeling of hunger? Forget bills paid a few days late every month? Groveling and begging on the phone for just a little more time? How could you forget?
Those days are long fucking gone. Then who do you think you are? Do you know how lucky you are? Do you think everyone gets a magical blond bunny in their yard? Do you think that blond bunny never panics? Never struggles? Do you think you are exempt? Are you so delusional to think you, alone, should have a life with not one moment discomfort? Do you think you better than a bunny? Do you?
Look above you! Are there any hawks circling the sky? Is there a single threat? Are you at war? Are you abused? Where is your injury? Are you really making this up right now? Are you? Is there even one thing genuinely, unequivocally, indisputably 'bad' in you life? Why are you crying? Why are you choosing sadness again and again? When there is nothing to be sad for a minute about? Do you not see this sweet life star-bursting around you?
Look around you! What even is good enough for you then? Why don't you burn your forty kinds of socks if you are going to be insolent like that? Do you not like this brand new roof? Are your painted nails and new dress not enough? Do you realize that your mother never owned a new car in her life? How you gonna pout when it's time for an oil change you can afford? Lament an hour of lost time? What were you gonna do anyway, baby? My! How do your ancestors feel watching you complain over finding a good house in this market when they were a step above squatters? Don't you know Papaw never did get the leak fixed? Is it raining into your house? How you gonna eat good for the first time in your life only to whine that you gettin' fat? Is this not what you wanted?
You are not the shit and you are not a piece of shit.
You are just grey, in-between, middle.
And that's ok. Maybe good.
Quit being so quick to forget.
You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this. You are better than this.
SO DO FUCKING BETTER.
